I stopped writing for a while because i got sick of hearing my own voice in my head, when there seemed so many more pressing things to spend my time on.
Then some of you started to clamor about missing my drivel, so i tossed out a few more cyberwords.
I railed about how i didn't need a man to make me happy.
Then, on account of increasing negligence on the part of the rebelangel's other parent, and the late nights it forces me to spend writing for this roof instead of writing for fun, i got to thinking about how badly she needs a positive male influence in her life -- a steady one who sticks around and spoils her like a father. I actually even started to think about settling down. Shhh... don't tell...
I preached and praised the place i live for its progressiveness, its positive energy, and its proximity to sea and mountains.
Then, like the thinnest putty knife wedged in a stubborn crag, someone brought up leaving this place, because perhaps i wouldn't have to work so futilely elsewhere. That old stone started to give way.
A while back i would have told you that never would i have imagined leaving this home of mine within the next year. But since the rub's come to do its rubbing so many times lately, i have to say i don't know anymore. I make decisions and then make the opposite one. I do something or nothing and the universe drops the other side in my lap.
I sat down to write tonight and i had nothing in mind, but this is what came out. So obviously the answers are not definitive in my head, and i need to work some of it out on this public page.
So i ask you: should i stay in the place that has been my home for the better part of ten years, where a mostly-absent father and his helpful mother live, but where it's far from my family, and the gaggle of hipsters with liberal arts degrees make unemployment consistently high? Or should i move within a morning's drive of my own parents and siblings, where the economy is better and the sun shines 300 days a year?
I try not to sway you too much with lofty words that adorn any one side more than the other, but it's almost as if the script is already written. The unknown always seems a bit rosier, and worth a try if you're having doubts...